sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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