I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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