Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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