she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
