Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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