sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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