ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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