Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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