so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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