5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
