I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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