Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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