you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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