she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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