but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
