Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
