there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
