You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
