Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
