the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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