Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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