I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
