that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
