all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
