I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
