you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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