I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
