ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
