I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
