my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you win again, gameday.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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