just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
