I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
