I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
