i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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