You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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