I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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