I puked a lego.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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