Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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