ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You were trust falling into bushes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
