I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm having to shit out rocks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize