WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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