what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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