Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
