So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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