I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
