no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize