im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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