Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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