It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize