He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
