lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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