i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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