Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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