We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
