Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
