My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
