OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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