so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
