So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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