it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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