I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
