its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You made out with two different species that night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
