I hope mine doesn't look like that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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