so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
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She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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